The Lost Art of Connection: Lessons from How to Human
Published on
March 18, 2025 at 12:45:24 PM PDT March 18, 2025 at 12:45:24 PM PDTth, March 18, 2025 at 12:45:24 PM PDT
Book Review by Michelle Penner
When was the last time you intentionally went out of your comfort zone to connect with someone different from you? If you feel you’ve been caught in rhythms of polarization and busyness, then How To Human is the book for you. In this book, Carlos Whitaker examines our lost socialization skills, highlights how Jesus modelled humanity, and inspires us to reconnect with each other on a deeper level.
I first “met” Carlos when I followed his Instagram page in 2019 when he rescued a baby robin. His wonder and sincere compassion compelled me to continue to learn from his content. This same curiosity and love for others is sewn into every page of How To Human.
While our culture requires us to prioritize productivity, How to Human shows us how to slow down, pay attention, and rekindle our love for creation and humanity.
Carlos’ enthusiastic storytelling, passion and conviction captivated and helped me understand relationship and reconciliation through the lens of Jesus.
How To Human primarily addresses the modern crisis of a lack of connection. Carlos’ solutions to this disconnect reminded me of how our cultures’ way of connecting has shifted since I was young. My childhood was full of Sundays set aside to spend with family and friends. Our homes were always full of guests, often connecting over a simple meal around the table. Music filled the background, not the sound of a TV. Adults shared their life journey over steaming cups of coffee while kids played outside with imagination as their greatest resource. We took the time to see and embrace each other. This is how Carlos understands Jesus’ lifestyle- he kept life simple and cared about loving God and people.
However, as time passed, we drifted away from these ways of connecting. We were not designed for a vast digital tie with the world and consequently, it limits our ability to connect with our community. Our imaginations became stifled and we traded our leisurely meals for a packed and fast paced schedule. It is easier to sit alone at home and see each other through a screen than to open our doors and hearts to all types of people. We understand how important it is to recognize others and their needs, but we less often put this understanding into action.
Carlos reminds us that if we want to embrace our humanity, we must recover our compassion and wonder and put them into practice.According to Carlos, our effort to authentically see other humans is not the finish line. Every person has a God-given need to be seen, and this requires us to stretch ourselves even further - to free them and ourselves.
Carlos explains that we can find our freedom when we help others discover their freedom. In the same way, we can’t help others be more human without becoming more human ourselves.
Our inability to disagree with one another without hatred is another major block to connection. Our attempts to listen to one another became lost in an effort “to feel right more than wanting to be right”.
However, if we look closely at the way that Jesus lived his life, “we see that He really loved seeing a few groups of people that others didn’t want to see. Women. The poor. Oppressors. Racial enemies.” This connection was centered upon loving others, not self righteousness. Jesus didn’t protect, heal and serve only his own people, He is love to ALL people. As our local community grows in ethnic diversity, we seldom ask our new neighbours to share their stories with us face to face. Carlos challenges us to confront our subconscious biases and intentionally reach out to those who are different from us. This is a sobering reminder that every person we interact with was made by The Creator himself!
Carlos shares how to move toward this model through his three part exploration “to be human, see fellow humans, and free those around us”, and his writing style reads like a conversation between two friends. How to Human is inspirational and practical and inspires readers to create fresh connections with their community, regardless of differences and the divides in a post-COVID world defined by digital media. Through powerful, gripping and vulnerable stories, Carlos highlights bold and culture-defying moments of courage that broke down his own biases and moved him towards connection.
To hear more of Carlos’ stories and be inspired to reconnect with your community, FH Canada’s Flourishing event is perfect for you. At Flourishing, Carlos will take a deep dive into these themes and guide us through connection and poverty alleviation. I look forward, with great anticipation, to hearing Carlos speak about human flourishing as we strive to end poverty together. My hope is that you will join us too! As Carlos says, come join us at “human school”, class is now in session.