Mercy, a resilient mother-of-nine in Uganda, recalls a time when poverty overshadowed her relationships with her husband, children, and community.

Despite working hard to support her family, there simply wasn’t enough to go around. She sold most of the little food they managed to grow to cover medical bills for her children who often fell sick. They could only afford one, maybe two meals a day. Her children frequently missed school, and their poor nutrition affected their concentration and performance. And though her husband also worked, their relationship was hostile.

It’s no wonder Mercy carried a lot of anger inside. She fought with her neighbours over the smallest things, aggravating everyone around her. Because she made so many enemies, she had no friends, leaving her to face her struggles alone.

So when her husband abused her, there was nowhere to turn. 

Mercy depended on him for everything—he was the gatekeeper for their money. If she needed salt or cooking oil, school fees for their children, or a new pair of shoes she had to ask him. These requests often sparked arguments that turned violent. 

This interplay of poverty and gender-based violence is, unfortunately, not uncommon. Worldwide, an estimated 736 million women—almost one in three—have been subjected to physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner. In Canada, the number is even higher. More than 44 per cent of women reported experiencing intimate partner violence in their lifetime.

So what causes gender-based violence? Two reasons consistently highlighted by research which are culture (harmful gender stereotypes and patriarchy) and economic poverty. Mercy and her family found themselves trapped in both.   

The cycle of arguing and violence between Mercy and her husband hurt their children, but not how you might think. She took out her frustration on her children, causing them to grow distant. “I felt like a bad mother... I didn’t have hope that my life would change,” Scovia reflects.

This unhealthy pattern took a toll on Mercy’s mental health.

“I felt so bad and worthless, I didn’t have hope that my life would change. I felt so depressed.”

Yet, Mercy remembers, she prayed everyday for a change. What God has done in her life in just four years is nothing short of a miracle!

When FH partnered with her community, Mercy's prayers were answered. By joining a women’s health group in 2020, she received child and maternal health training. She also learned sustainable farming to increase their crop production; kitchen gardening to learn how to grow vegetables for her family all year long; and how to support her children’s education (including checking their homework!).

Mercy came to understand the vital role she plays in her children’s lives as a mother—influencing their education, protecting their health, ensuring good nutrition, and providing a safe space at home. FH introduced her to new ways of parenting that foster connection rather than perpetuate violence. The result? Her children are beginning to thrive! They’re eating well, feeling healthier, going to school regularly, and—mabye best of all—growing closer to their mom. Scovia observed,

"My children now have friends and this gives me a sense of belonging. I feel loved by my community members!" — Scovia

Participating in an interpersonal psycho-social group helped Mercy begin to socialize with other moms. In the process, she found peace and friendship.

But perhaps most powerful of all is the healing taking place in Mercy’s marriage. 

“Before, my husband would not listen to me,” Mercy shares. Today, however, his mindset is changing through the influence of FH and many prayers. They make plans as a family and, by joining a savings group together, they’re getting on the same page about finances. Together, they made a plan to borrow money from their group so they could buy more land and expand their farming. “I am happy that he now consults me and this makes me feel like I also have value to him and that my views matter.” 

Beginning to work as a team has enabled Mercy and her husband to provide for their family. 

“My home now has enough food to eat!” Mercy says. With determination, they continue to diversify their income. Mercy was given a hen so she hatched chicks which she then raised and sold to purchase a pig. As their income and savings grew, they eventually bought a sheep and a cow that provides milk for her children to grow strong. She also helped buy seeds for the school garden so her kids can eat nutritious meals at school.

“These changes make me feel empowered!” Mercy beams.

After so many years of isolation, Mercy is now fully engaged in her community. She’s a Lead Farmer, training other community members with new agricultural knowledge on how to improve their harvests. She’s become a pillar in her community.

“I reflected on this, and thought that I couldn’t have had the support from my neighbours if FH [had not] come to our community.”

You can help break down harmful gender stereotypes and prevent gender-based violence by giving to Girl Power! Check it out today.

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